Friday, June 11, 2010

Knowing when to say when...

Smokie "Mocha-Smoka-Chino" Hughes



The Mokie
It's been on my mind for quite some time, sending my 19-year-old best friend, My Smokie-cat, my Mocha, my Mochachino, my Smokester, my Mokie, my Oompa-Loopa to cross the Rainbow Bridge, to live in a pain-free, illness-free, happy place.

Smokie has lived a very good life, illness free until a year and a half ago. He was diagnosed with kidney failure, several months ago he was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. It was only a matter of time and I knew that we couldn't treat the cancer, because of his kidney's. I felt it was only right to have him at home until a time when his quality of life would change.

Recently that time has come. We've had some issues, IV treatments would be harder to do, he's lost more weight, he sleeps most of the day, he quit sleeping with me in bed at night curled under my arm, he won't eat as much as he used to and he would stop using his litter box. I called the vet last week, we talked. We made an appointment for tonight - the last appointment of the day.

I think knowing when to say would be the hardest part. It seemed that he had a new pep in his step this past week, but I was relying on wishful thinking. Was I was wrong about the timing? The answer is No, I wasn't. So now, the hardest part is trying to hold him and touch him and talk to him, with the very little bit of time I had left with him this past week and especially today.

"Smokie, Mama (and St. Francis) are by your side all of the way today, Oompa-Loompa. As you take your final breath, I want you to run over that bridge as fast as you can and be reunited with Dadoo, Sheyanne, Rollie, Nala, Tuffy, Buddy, Ozzie, Figaro and all of the other fur-babies of our friends and family. Send them our love! I want you to be free of pain and illness.
I heard there is a ton of tuna and chicken over there, OH! and chips, too - like a buffet! Eat up Oompa Loompa, you deserve it, GET FAT!!
You have brought me the greatest joy over the last 18 years - which has been almost half my life! We've been on a great journey from KS to NM to MI to MA. You've been kind and understanding of changes and you adapted well to our life together. I'll never forget the nights you'd curl up with me in bed. I'll miss your kisses and your hugs. I'll miss your meows and your purrs. Your youth will be restored and we will be reunited someday. Forgive me for all of my shortcomings, I'm going to miss you, sweet boy! St. Francis is watching over you."

Love, Mama


Penny said...

Oh dear.... a tough day for you. I'll be thinking of you.

~Kristen~ said...

Oh, Tanya, I am crying so hard right now. You are absolutely doing the right thing for Smokie, and he knows, but it doesn't make it any easier. I am thinking of both of you and praying. He can play with my Blazer and my Muffin when he gets to the Rainbow Bridge! xoxo

Tanya said...

Thank you both for your kind thoughts! ♥