Saturday, June 12, 2010

Missing you, Smokie!

Oh Smokie, do you miss me as much as I am missing you, today? I didn't sleep well, and I woke up with my heart racing, tears running down my face and an overall sadness as I realized that you really weren't here. No "I'm hungry" meows. I'm so sad. I've been blubbery all day!

Did you get across the Rainbow Bridge ok? Was Rollie and Sheyanne there to greet you? I hoped you passed on the message that I miss them and that I love them. Did you? Who else did you see?
Abigail misses you. She keeps going to your pillow and seeing if you're there. She looks at me as if asking "Where is my big brother?" I have told her, but not sure she understands just yet.

As for yesterday, I sensed that you could tell something was going on, but maybe not sure what. Did you know? Did you expect this? Did you hear me talk about it these past few weeks? If I could have waited forever, I would have! It's an unfortunate decision that we have to make at some point if we don't want nature to take it's natural course in life. I wouldn't do that to you. I wanted you to be comfortable and not in pain. You were a champ and I was there for the whole thing. I felt a bit bad that the first shot that sedated you worked so fast. I wanted to talk to you first, but you relaxed so quickly. I'm sorry for that, I didn't expect it either. Did you hear me cry? Dude, my eyes are so swollen. In my heart, I know that I did the right thing. I freed you of illness, discomfort and pain. but it doesn't make miss you any easier.

St. Francis is with you now. He will watch over you and keep you safe. As for me and Paul and Abigail, we miss you so much. I will not rest until you are back with us in a couple weeks (understand that it's a different form, but you will be back home, nonetheless)

Yesterday, your aunt Natasha and uncle John took some cat supplies up to Nevins Farm for the cat adoption weekend, in your honor. How nice, huh?

I love you. I miss you. I miss your kisses.

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