Sunday, June 13, 2010

Hit a rough patch last night, Smokie!

Yesterday was another sad day. I continue to have your picture alongside your aunt Natasha's St. Francis statue and her Lady Fatima rosary. I have your St. Francis medallion there, too awaiting your return home. I have 3 little flicker candles that I turn on all day too. (I'd burn a real candle, but I'm afraid I'd forget about it!) When I walk by the little "memory shrine" I have there, it gives me comfort through the day. You are always on my mind.

I did a really dumb thing yesterday. I took the pillow case off your favorite pillow, so I could wash it. (I'm NOT trying to remove evidence of you being here and I'm NOT trying to wash away your memories) I just wanted to clean up your bed. I took the case off the pillow and it smelled like you. OH MAN! Floods of tears, through my already stinging eyes.

So many people have left messages through email, facebook and on my voicemail. A lot of people loved you Smokie. You were so kind and gentle, loyal and loving! It comforts me that people care so much. (Thank you all!)

Someday I'll celebrate your life, right now I'm mourning it. I'm scared to go back to work today, because I won't be near you here at home. Life's responsibilities need to go on. I'll be home again this afternoon, OK Sweet Boy?

Love you,

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