Friday, June 18, 2010

A week ago, today.

Flashback: June 11, 2010

The week had been slow and dragging on. By the time Friday came, it seemed to drag on even slower. But all day I was anxious and literally 1 week ago to the hour, I became super anxious. We had to leave at 6:30pm to go to the vet office. I had everything ready, I thought "I" was ready. We spent the whole day together, we took pictures, we gave kisses and hugs. You ate salmon for breakfast, tuna for lunch, McDonald's cheeseburger and fries for dinner.  Those are some of your favorite foods - you ate just about anything though, didn't you!

I remember walking into the vet's office and there was a ton of people in the lobby (surgery pick-up), which caused me to become emotional immediately. All of those people were going to go home with their cats and dogs, however I would not.

We were whisked away into a room at the end of the hall. That's where we spent the last hour of your life. It's where we said our goodbye's and I cried for you and me. I almost changed my mind, but I knew by doing so it would make the next time around even worse. I could no longer prolong your life. Your kidney's and bone marrow cancer wouldn't allow you to feel better. I couldn't be selfish for the sake of grief.

It's been a week now that you have physically been gone now. I think of you all the time. ALL THE TIME! I have a magical place for you, a place where I can stop by when I walk by and visit. Only a few more days and you'll be back home with us.

Abigail is doing OK. DAYUM, she eats a lot! She also makes a dirty mess in the litter box. Sorry to have blamed that on you all the time! She gets food in the water bowl all the time too, remember how you used to hate that and wouldn't drink out of the water bowl unless it was fresh? Abigail is talking a lot, since you've been gone. Are you channeling her to say HI to us? I don't mind if you are! It's rather relaxing!

I've been working on a book, but that will be something I continue to work on in time. I'm yet to look at the pictures of last week. I'll get there!

OK, Mama has super duper bad headache and is going to get off this computer for now. I'm almost done with the wedding invites. They have kept me at peace all week working on them a little each night this past week.

Mama ♥'s you!

1 comment:

~Kristen~ said...

I know these notes are as comforting to Smokie as they are cathartic for you! He can hear you! xoxo